More celebrity workouts

Now, I really wish I could say that it was easy. I wish I could say that it was fun. Most of all, I wish I could say that I didn’t cry in the gym.
But, I would be lying.
The diet was difficult to maintain. Very difficult. I was eating like a cave man. No processed foods, no convenience foods at all. I actually had to cook my a few meals, and freeze them, because I couldn’t find the time to cook a meal from scratch. I ate chicken during the day and fish at night. (The first time I tried to reheat my fish in the microwave at work, the cloud of noxious fish smell hung in the air for most of the day. I had to hide in the stockroom to avoid getting caught eating it. I would have been lynched.) My greens were just that. Just greens. I couldn’t even call it a salad. I wasn’t allowed carrots, cucumbers, sprouts. I wasn’t allowed any dressing. (non-fat or low fat even). I ate so much spinach and lettuce, that I was sure that my skin would turn green. I’m not even going to remind you about the foul smell that I emitted due to my daily intake of asparagus. (FOUL!) The food was bland, and the proportions were small. Plus, it made me cranky.
The workouts were daily. Even though I only had my trainer three times a week, I was to walk on the treadmill every day. Now, it was a slow walk, but a long one. I was to walk on the treadmill for at least an hour. The biggest challenge was actually doing it. And fighting the boredom. I tried to watch tv, read, listen to audio tapes, and even brought my portable VCR to watch the latest movies. I was still always bored. Now, I would kill for an hour to myself!
The actual workouts were the same. I would start with 20 mins on the treadmill. Then, I would move through the nautilus machines with my trainer. Many reps, but with low weights. I would end with abs and then 20 min cool-down on the treadmill. (the cool-down was on my own time.) My ab workout the first day was 15 “bicycles”. (lying on a mat, on your back, knees bent, with your hands behind your head. You bring your right elbow to your left knee. Repeat.) I struggled through my 15. The next workout, he told me to do 75. I looked at him like he was some sort of mutant alien.
“Well, he has me confused with another client. I’ll just gently remind him that this is only my second day.”
Oh, he knew who I was. I was the asswipe that was going to be doing 75 bicycles on the mat. I did them. (well, I said I did them, I actually did 74 of them, but somehow that always made me feel good. “Ms. Passive Aggressive,” that’s me.) I continued to go to my workouts. Despite the stomach turning that would happen to me right before my session. I tried to ignore all the doubts and all the temptations.
Like I said before, I really wish I could say it was easy.

Next up: my trip to the ER! creative eating, and shame.