The Scale Mocks Me

The scale.
What can I say?? It's a fucking liar! (I'm guessing this is where I lose all my Mormon readers. Sorry.) I hate the scale. I'm positive that it purposely is mocking me.
I hate that I can get on the scale first thing in the morning, and see a great number. I'll climb on later in the day, and I'll see a five lb difference.
WTF?
There is no way that I ate 5 lbs of food in a few hours. That just doesn't make any sense at all.

If you are going to tell me the whole "muscle weighs more than fat," just stop right there missy. Because, I think that is the worst cop out ever. That's the answer that someone give you when they don't have an answer to your question.
Really.
I've heard it over and over and over. And YES, I understand the physics of it. I really really do. But, I think that it's just a fluffy answer to a complex question.

So, back to my scale. Why is it mocking me? Does it enjoy making me happy, then dashing my happiness?? Is it evil? I got it! It was invented by the devil himself.

Why is it possible for me to lose 8 lbs in one week, then not budge for the next three weeks?
REALLY.
What kind of f'd up torture is that? Doesn't it realize that I am exercising in the exact same way? That I'm eating the exact same foods? Drinking the exact same amount?
See? It mocks me.

I can't take the stress of it all anymore, so Tyrese forbids me from weighing myself anywhere but at the gym. AND I can only use the scale in his office. (Probably because of my theory that "someone" was messing with the calibration of the scale after hours. Hey, it's possible!) AND, I can only weigh myself once a week.

Before these rules were enacted, I was obsessed with the numbers. If I had good numbers, I had a great workout. I practically floated on the treadmill. When I had bad numbers, I was miserable. I thought to myself, "Why am I even enduring this??" It was tough working past it.

So, make yourself happier, and ignore those numbers. You are just torturing yourself.

They are just numbers.