Watch Out Puppies

I saw Tyrese's girlfriend. (Of course he has a girlfriend. He looks like a god.) Not only did I see her, but I saw her in the locker room.
How can anyone look so perfect?
I stole looks at her. (Hoping that I wouldn't get caught.) Her hair was perfect. Her skin glowed. Her eyes sparkled. Her teeth were pearl-y. And her stomach was taunt.
I sat there, studying her. Each of her traits were nice, but not exceptional. What was it about her that made the heavens part and the angels sing?
*shugging shoulders*


I would stomp on puppies to look like her.



Crying puppies.