The Duck Story

Since I wanted to post before I left, and didn't. And now I'm stuck dealing with the aftermath of Fridge Death '09, I'm going to share the duck story with you. It has nothing to do with dieting, but it'll (hopefully) give you a chuckle and make my resolutions make more sense.

I took my oldest daughter to Disneyland. She was young, so I took the stroller with me. While Mickey is practically my neighbor, I do not believe in getting the annual pass, so we only go once a year. I arrived at the park, and was trying to work out a game plan in my head, trying to figure out the strategy for the day. As I walked up Main Street, a crowd was starting to gather along the curb. I noticed on the map, that a parade was scheduled to start within the next 15 minutes. This made navigating through the crowd much more difficult. But.....it gave me a brilliant idea. If everyone will be sitting on the curbs watching the parade, that means that in theory, they will not be standing in line for the rides.
Right?
So, I'm slowly making my way up to the castle. In my mind, I'm trying to decide which ride is the most popular ride, and hope that the parade will ease the wait for that ride. I'm huffing and puffing, making my way through the crowd. I get to the castle, and decide that I can't make it much further, that my only option is to cut across the front of the castle and go into Frontierland. I start to make my move, and I'm walking along side the castle's moat. I'm pushing the stroller, and trying to make some good time here. As I walk by the moat, a mallard duck lands on my head.

A DUCK LANDS ON MY HEAD.

I let go of the stroller, and start waving my hands around my head, like my head was on fire. The duck casually flies off my head, and lands into the water in the moat. (Looking back now, I can see that this was probably it's intended target, but he got sidetracked by my enormous head.) I quickly fluff down my hair. And check for duck poop. (did you know birds had no sphincters? I did, once I got home and googled all the duck diseases.) I finally calm down, and realized that my daughter did not notice what just happened. I think to myself, "GREAT, maybe no one else did too." And I slowly turn my head back to see behind me.

Only to see 2,000 parade people watching me.

I turn red, and slowly turn my head back and start pushing the stroller.
"No one knows me, no one knows me, no one knows me" I chant inside my head.
As I walk across the foot bridge that leads into Frontierland (AKA freedom) a guy walks up in the opposite direction. He looks right at me and says:

"Nice hat"

Bastard! I wanted to die of embarrassment. Later, when I told Mr. Hummingbird the story, he snorted. Then he said, "why does this stuff always happen to you?"

I really couldn't tell you.