Mystery Man

I met someone recently. He's funny, smart and nice. He makes me laugh more than I ever thought was possible.
And he's about 200 lbs overweight.

He doesn't know my history.

I sit with him, and laugh until my sides hurt.
He won't eat in front of me.
He waits until I leave, hoping that I won't notice. I pretend not to notice that he's not eating.

I notice.

I smile at him, but notice the look in his eyes.
I remember that look. That dull and sad look.
I remember that look in my eyes.

I hope he's not ashamed.
Like I was.
I hope he's not uncomfortable.
Like I was.
I hope he thinks everything is fine.
Like I prayed it was.

But I know better.

I wish I could tell him that that it'll get better. I wish I can tell him that someone believes in him. I wish I can tell him that he has not failed. I wish I could tell him that he is wonderful just the way he is.

But I'm not sure how.

I try to tell him this.........in my smile.





But, it's really not enough, is it?
I feel cheap and cheated. I feel like I let him down.


This f'ng sucks.