Upgrading my trainer

I'm walking every day. I'm meeting with my trainer, Coach Minion. I'm sticking to my diet. I'm barely hanging on, but Coach Minion really motivates me. He is my cheerleader. He calls me to see how I feel. He calls me to see what I ate. When I forget my apple, who sends out for an apple? Coach Minion. I'm finally feeling comfortable in the gym now, and I can finally say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't meet you for happy hour, I'm going to the gym." and not giggle at the absurdity of it.
So, my "free" sessions were now over. Coach Minion did not train regular clients, just the introduction sessions. (hummmm....wonder why?? Well, hang on, you'll figure it out.) I was handed over to a more experienced trainer who would continue my journey to better health. Three times a week, at a cost of $40 a session!! I'm so lucky!
I meet the most perfect man I've ever met in my life. (yeah, yeah, besides my husband. Blah, blah, blah.) His name is Tyrese, and he is godlike. He's tall, dark, and handsome. His skin practically glows. His muscles have muscles. His smile has dropped panties to the floor since 1985. He's perfect.
But.....he's one mean bastard. Once I signed the contract (did you figure it out yet??), he let his hair down. Long gone were the days of the pep talks. Long gone were the days of "forgetting" my apples and getting a replacement. (you'll remember tomorrow, won't you??) Long gone were the days of excuses. (mine, not his of course) Long gone were the days of making witty remarks in order to distract the trainer until it was time for the cool down walk. (witty and snide remarks are my defense mechanism. Duh.) Tyrese had a great laugh, but I only heard it once. (the great butt muscle incident. You'll hear it later.....) This guy was all business, all the time. And his business was about having a healthy body.

I was in for it.