She Did WHAT?!?!

I'm standing in the locker room, minding my own business. I still have my IPOD attached to my head, and I'm (dressed) standing in front of the huge mirror admiring my skin tone under the glare of the white hot fluorescent lights. (Really? Does anyone look good under this lighting??) My IPOD is still on. (I ploy I started in order to not have to talk to anyone else who might be undressed and wanting to start a conversation with me. Really.)

So some random naked girl come over, and stand thisclose to me. She is checking out her face in the mirror too. She's lugging a whole bag full of beauty products, and drops them on the counter in front of us. I get the feeling like she is trying to make me uncomfortable, so I would leave and give her my prime spot. (Yeah, prime spot. Under the damn florescent lights.) So, of course, now I'm determine to stand there as long as possible. (Because as I've mentioned many, many times now, I'm a bitch IRL.) She's slowly moving closer to me with her damp nakedness. I suppress the involuntary urge to take a step to the right. I'm holding my ground.
She starts poking at her face with a pair of tweezers.
I continue with my makeup routine.
She starts inspecting her face for random stray hairs.
I'm still buffing with my Bare Minerals. (Jebus. Why doesn't she get a towel already!!)
She starts moisturizing everything. (EVERYTHING! I didn't know that I was suppose to moisturize those parts too.)
I continue to buff.
She whips out the hairdryer. (great!)
I continue to buff.
She starts blow drying her long hair, into what looks like the old "Rachael" hairdo.
I continue to my eye shadows.
She's done with her hair, and shoves the hairdryer between her legs and starts to dry her snoopy.




?!?!!!!!




I grab my stuff.
Leap over the bench.
And run out of the locker room.
Yes, I'm a coward, but seriously, what would you have done?