Random Fat Embarrasing Moment- #237

One of my first years in college, I got a tattoo. It was the rebellious and trendy thing to do. (one of my IRL Bffs has a huge pink bunny on her ankle. She got it supersized because she wanted to prove to everyone how rebellious she truly was........well, as much as she could be with a big ol' pink bunny on her ankle.) I got a very tasteful tiny dolphin on my hip. (Just something to peek out of my bikini when I was lounging.) I never really told anyone about it, since I enjoyed the secretiveness of it all. (Plus, I knew my mom would probably want to skin me if she found out. Or at least chase me with a hot iron.) As with all things, I quickly forgot about it.

Years later, I'm at the casinos with Nana. (Just wait. You'll hear more about my Nana. Patience Grasshopper.) I was roped into taking her to play the slots for a weekend. (I literally got the short straw. Literally. I think someone cheated.) I sat next to her in the smoke filled room, avoiding eye contact with anyone, and every now and then, I'd have to babysit her "hot" machine while she went for a potty break. How fun is this??
On the last day, I decided that I was done with my babysitting. I told Nana that I was headed to the pool. I figured that we would meet up later, maybe at lunch, and resume the whole "choking on smoke while watching your grandma spend your inheritance" until it was time to go home. She surprised me by wanting to go "get some sun."
We head down to the pool. She's pretty much covered up entirely. Capri pants (with elastic waist, natch), tank top, linen shirt, ginormous straw hat, and of course, the gold sneakers. I was wearing my Lands End slimming black suit. We find a spot, and make ourselves comfortable. At one point, I get up, and head for the water. (it's pretty freakin hot right about now.) I swim for a while, and actually:
1. forget that I'm there with Nana.
2. have a good time.
(^^^These two usually go hand in hand, BTW)

I eventually head out of the pool, absolutely starving. As I grab for my towel, my Nana says, "what's that?? Ya got some kindof cancer?" She squints at my crotch.
I look down, looking around. I finally realize that she's talking about my tattoo.
"Oh, it's just a tattoo. I've had it for years....." I'm not sure how this will go. After all, I am a adult now.
"What is it?!? It looks like a wiener."
"OMG Nana! It's not a wiener!! Gross. Why would you think that I would tattoo myself with a wiener?? Nasty. It's a dolphin."
"Are you sure??"
"Yes Nana." Like I should know, right?
"It looks more like a whale. A blue whale or Shamu."
"WHAT? It's a dolphin. Look at it's nose."
She squints.
"Honeygirl, it might have started as a dolphin, but it's now a whale. A big blue whale. With a touch of the ICK."





I wanted to die.