The Husband Challenge

So, Mr. Hummingbird has always been some what supportive. (Actually, as long as it didn't interfere with his sports on the t.v. he was fine with whatever I wanted to do.) Which is surprising, since you know, if I'm on a diet, he's on a diet.
Poor guy.
I never actually told him that he couldn't eat anything yummy in the same room as me. I guess that was just something he was able to figure out on his own. That being said, I did find a secret trash bag full of Zebracake wrappers in the trunk of his car. (shhh...don't tell him that I know. I'm saving that one for when I'm in a jam.)
Well, one day, after an extra hard workout, I flopped on my bed and started moaning. (There was no particular reason for the moaning. It just felt good.) Mr. Hummingbird walks by, and rolls his eyes.
Rolls. His. Eyes.
(Yeah, I couldn't actually see him do this, but I felt it. I leaped out of the bed and confronted him.)
"Ya' got a problem?"
"No.....no problem"
"You sure? You walked by here with a problem."
"No.....it's nothing."
WTH?
"Just say it. Tell me what is bothering you. " (So I can hurt you and make you pay for it. Over and over and over.)
"Oh....you know"

*Staring at him, and tapping my foot*

"Okay, stop looking at me. Well, it's just like you act like you just moved a mountain or something. You just walk on the treadmill, right? I can hardly see any sweat on you. But, each day, you come in here and act like you just achieved the impossible. And, you expect me to baby you all night because you're too tired to do anything for yourself. I'm tired too. No one babys me."
I stare at him.
And stare at him.
And then count to ten silently.
I take a deep breath and begin.
"I don't just walk on the treadmill. I do walk on the treadmill, but do a whole lot more. I start my day by motivating myself to not go to McDonald's for breakfast. I then talk myself out of a luxurious and creamy latte. Instead, I go to the office and have ONE cup of coffee. All the while, everyone around me is eating jumbo sized muffins with blueberries the size of small birds.
Then, I avoid the breakfast burritos, spilling out with bacon and sausages in the break room. I convince myself that my plain oatmeal is just fine, and then I go into my office and cry. I keep my door closed in order to keep out the microwave popcorn smell that seems to try to gripe me with it's buttery fingers. Never mind the cookie sales, birthday cakes, or chocolates. By the time I leave my office, I'm mentally exhausted from fighting all the cravings.
Then, I get into the car and fight traffic for 20 mins. I drive 15 miles out-of-my-way to get to the gym. I undress in front of the most perfect bodies in the city. (again, I might cry alittle) I get on the stupid treadmill, and wait for the dreaded time when my trainer comes and gets me. The whole time, my stomach is turning, worried that I will soon be suspended from the ceiling with ropes or on a pogo stick. When he arrives, he makes me work. Work my arse off. He tries to make me cry, but I will never cry in front of him. (again....anyways.) My body is near physical exhaustion now. Then, I get into the car, and fight traffic for another 40 mins. By the time I get home to you, I feel like I have been gone a week, let alone just a few hours."

Silence.

I continue, "This is a lifestyle change. Which means.....my whole life has changed. And guess what? You have to change too. I know that you have already given up a lot of greasy, yummy dinners, but you got to give till it hurt too. I didn't get here by myself, and I don't expect to get out of this hole by myself either. Right?? I didn't eat all those Ben and Jerry sundaes by myself, you know."

He thinks for a moment, then says, "Fine. It's just that you're so dramatic about the whole thing. Scott's (Mr. Hummingbird's BFF) wife never does stuff like this."

Oh. No. He. Didn't.

I lose it. Seriously, lose it. (I've had a lot of pent up emotions.)

"Are you f'ng kidding me?! You think that I'm being dramatic? You think that this is all an elaborate ploy for attention? Some super secret woman plan to attack your sympathies?" I'm shaking my head at this point.

I take a moment. Then, it hits me.

"Fine, you're going to the gym tomorrow, instead of me."
"Fine." he replied.

I smile.

TO BE CONTINUED.......