Two Worlds Collide

So, what is it about someone else’s misery, that make you feel so much better about yourself? One of life’s true mysteries.
Well, Mr. Hummingbird has been getting up early three times a week. Needless to say, he’s exhausted. I’m still going after work, three times a week. I’m exhausted. (We’re both in bed by 8:30 pm each night.) I’m calling this period in our lives the “Bypass Stage”. (By that, I mean I only see him when I by pass him in the hallway.)
Tyrese is really working him. Every afternoon, I get the play by play of what they do every morning. Sometimes I’m proud of Mr. Hummingbird, but most times I giggle at his and everyone else’s misfortunes. I secretly love seeing Mr. Hummingbird get so into exercising. I love hearing about how Tyrese is pushing him, and how he never complains. It's weird seeing him be so competitive against the other guys in the gym. (If one guy lifts 100 lbs, then they all have to lift 100 lbs. )

I do feel a little bit jealous, having to share this with Mr. Hummingbird. For so long, it was just my little world. Now, he knows all the players, and knows all the backgrounds. It's as if my two worlds have collided.

I quickly find that Tyrese is a big ol’ gossip. (It just makes me love him even more.) Pretty soon we have nicknames for everyone at the gym. (just so we can talk freely) We talk about: Big Head Girl, Douchebag, ‘Roid boy, Leopard Panties, 420 cc’s, Stinky and more. This makes the workouts almost bearable. We laugh the afternoon away. Most of the times, I'm not sure if my abs are hurting from the exercises or the giggling.

One particular day, Tyrese told me some hot gossip about 420 cc's. Seems that she was hooking up with 'Roid boy. This was truly scandalous. We micro examined each aspect of the story. We hypothesized about the possible outcome. We giggled at the detailed description of their possible off springs. I couldn't wait to get home to tell Mr. Hummingbird.

I bounced in the door, and dropped my gym bag by the door.

"Hey, I have a great story to tell you!"

"Already heard it."

Damn, I knew having him go to the same gym would cause problems.

"So, what do you think??"

"I don't care."

"Wait, what? Don't you think it's absolutely scandalous?"

"Whatever..."

"What is she thinking?? What could she possibly be thinking?"

"Well, I guess she always does dumb stuff. It's all I hear about at the gym. Doesn't surprise me at all." (Ha! I finally reeled him into my conversation.)

"Yeah, I guess so."

"She is one wacky situation after another. Her poor husband....."

"wait, what?" (420 cc's isn't married. Well, not anymore anyways.)

"Yeah, all the guys talk about her in the gym. They have a bet going for the next time she does something outrageous."

"What?"

"Yeah, I think it all started when she dropped her panties on the treadmill."

Uh, oh. Wrong girl.

"Yeah, they call her CrazyAss."

Uh, oh. Very wrong girl.

"I heard she pulled a muscle in her ass too. What a weirdo."

Uh, huh. Weirdo.

"Tyrese talks about her all the time. She really must be a pain in his arse."

Yup, she is. She is.