More Failed Diets

Fasting

A few years ago, I read in the Enquirer that LaToya Jackson lost all her weight by fasting. While on her fast, she was only allowed to drink fruit purees and water. She would fast for three days, then allow herself to eat a small amount of food, BUT only after spinning on a bike for two hours. After fasting for four hours, I realized that I should not be seeking dieting advice (or any advice) from Ms. Python-Wearing-Playboy-Posing-My-Dad-Touched-Me-Inappropriately-But-He-Gave-Me-Money-So-It's-Okay.



Vinegar Diet

This diet basically consisted of downing a tablespoon of vinegar right before you ate a balanced meal. The vinegar was suppose to speed up your metabolism and be some sort of fat burner. I hate the taste and smell of vinegar, so this one really took a lot of effort. It did succeed in curbing my appetite. (yeah, you don't want to eat anything after downing all that vinegar.) I used balsamic vinegar for the following reasons:
1. I could actually stomach it.
2. That's what I had in my pantry.

The results of this diet were: heartburn, the squirts, and black teeth. Actual lbs lost? Zero. Cost of the diet? $200 (that's what the dentist charged me to bleach my teeth back to normal.)