Another strange workout

You know, I really thought that with all the beautiful modern machines available at the gym, that somehow they were responsible for the magic of a stronger, hotter body. Tyrese is showing me, that you do not need machines and gimmicks to get sexy. If you want it badly enough, you will find a way.

After a grueling workout, I headed over the the treadmill, for my endless and mindless walk of death. He stops me, and tells me that he wants to try out something new.

Great. (And, "not fair! I wasn't even whining today!")

He leads me to an old decrepit machine. This thing has seen better days. It's sorely out of place in a gym full of shining clean machines. It's a Versaclimber. (Trust me, they were BIG in the 80's)

The machine seriously looks out of place. It looks like something he "won" in a late night poker game. (while all his poker pals held back all the snickering) Or something that he took as payment for services rendered. (you can use your imagination....) Either way, I snubbed it. Why the hell was I going to waste my time with something so old and useless???

And of course, if it was something that I didn't want to do......you can bet Tyrese was going to make me do it.

Twice.

So, he smooth talks me into it. (using his most velvety chocolate smooth voice.) He tells me, that instead of a half hour on the treadmill, I can do five minutes on this machine, and be done for the day.

SOLD!

I climb on the rickety rusty machine. (I swear...... I hear it creak and moan in pain) I move my right hand up, and my right foot follows. The left side soon follows. It's a little hard at first, because it seems like it hasn't been used in a long time. As I continue, it glides a little easier. I fear that the rusty bolts will give away at any moment.

After a minute, I'm sweating.

After two minutes, I'm dying.

After three minutes, I want to die.

After four minutes, I wanna kill someone.

After five minutes, I'm just so happy that I didn't pee on myself.

The whole time, the machine creaks and moans. (It really needs a good oiling.) But, it was harder than I thought, and I'm exhausted. That machine is tougher than it looks. It doesn't matter that it's old. Or out of shape. Or makes a lot of noise. It's still tough. It's still an ass kicker.

Just. Like. Me.

It's my favorite machine now. And I swear, I lose weight at twice the speed now that I have been losing it. (And I promise you, I'm the only one in this crazy Hollywood gym that is using it.) I work my way up to 15 minutes, and that makes me happy.

So, if you see something that is old, decrepit, and frail.......don't underestimate it or it might just kick your ass.

Just. Like. Me.