The Quest for Coffee

So, I'm still doing my thing. Eating bland foods, and working out every day. I'm not loving it, but at least I'm still not hating it. I'm still a whiny bitch, but at least I'm a funny whiny bitch. Which in turn make me and Tyrese "friends". (At this point in my life, I see him more often than I see Mr. Hummingbird) I still try to get away with as much as I can, and he still tries to kill me. It's a beautiful relationship.
One day, after my warm up, I walk over to the weight room to meet him. He says, "we're going outside today." Gggrrrrr.........He's getting creative again. I'm not sure if I'm going to like this. Plus, it's crazy hot outside.
Outside, he hands me a jump rope. And I laugh out loud.
He's totally kidding, right?!? What the hell am I paying him for if he's just going to make me jump rope??! I'm not 7 yrs old! (Yeah...... I don't say this out loud. I've learned my lesson on that, thankyouverymuch.)
"Seriously?" is all I say.
"Yup. See if you can jump for 30 secs straight."
I don't move. I really can't believe that he wants me to do this. It's hot. I'm outside, in front of the gym where everyone can see me. And he wants me to jump rope? He notices my hesitation. And he goes in for the kill.
"If you can jump rope for 60 secs straight, I'll add coffee to your diet."
OH. HELL. YES.
I haven't had coffee in over a year. I dream about coffee. I smell coffee everywhere I go. I salivate every time I drive by a coffee shop.
"you're on, sucker."

"1, 2, 3, Damn."

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, DAMMIT."

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5..............23, 24, 25, DAMMIT!!"

"1,2,...............45, ,46 ,47...........WHAT THE HELL?!?"


45 minutes later.


"1, 2, 3........57, 58, 59, 60!!!"
I crumple to the ground. I'm covered in sweat. I'm dirty. My face is on the concrete. (eeww!) I lost a shoe at some point. I'm panting, wheezing, and coughing all at the same time. I'm drooling again and I have snot all over my face.
I open one eye, and notice that at some point, a crowd had gathered around me. (great!) I open the other eye, and look around for Tyrese. I see him inside the gym, sitting in a chair and enjoying the air conditioning, looking at me through the plate glass windows. He's smiling.
I smile, and slowly raise my right arm. And I flip him the bird.
His smile gets bigger, and then he mouths the words, "300 bicycles" at me.

Dammit.







Don't kid yourself. It was worth it.