I met someone recently. He's funny, smart and nice. He makes me laugh more than I ever thought was possible.
And he's about 200 lbs overweight.
He doesn't know my history.
I sit with him, and laugh until my sides hurt.
He won't eat in front of me.
He waits until I leave, hoping that I won't notice. I pretend not to notice that he's not eating.
I notice.
I smile at him, but notice the look in his eyes.
I remember that look. That dull and sad look.
I remember that look in my eyes.
I hope he's not ashamed.
Like I was.
I hope he's not uncomfortable.
Like I was.
I hope he thinks everything is fine.
Like I prayed it was.
But I know better.
I wish I could tell him that that it'll get better. I wish I can tell him that someone believes in him. I wish I can tell him that he has not failed. I wish I could tell him that he is wonderful just the way he is.
But I'm not sure how.
I try to tell him this.........in my smile.
But, it's really not enough, is it?
I feel cheap and cheated. I feel like I let him down.
This f'ng sucks.
3 comments:
I dont see how you are letting him down.
Are you slowly becoming closer friends with this person? If so, I am sure a time will come up when he will confide in you and you can share your story.
If your not close friends, you can slowly work in your trainer stories and then it might lead to a conversation on what you have been through???
O wow, that has to be horrible. I am not even sure what to say. Honesty is the best, just tell him what happened and what you felt and see if there is anything you can do!!
That's so sad. There was a woman in Weight Watchers who was so large. I lived in the townhomes next to her apartment and always wanted to invite her over, but didn't know how. Even a smile can be a gift. You did good.
Post a Comment